It is with regret and sympathy that I must inform you, my mobile phone has died.
Or is it?
I mean, am I regretful and in mourning?
Yes I was annoyed when it finally turned a blacker shade of black, and all apps and colour vanished from my iPhone. And yes I panicked for approximately two minutes, wondering how Mark and my mum could contact me. As well as fretting over the absence of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and the Internet in general. In Particular Twitter, I realised it was no longer possible to check every five minutes, just in case George Michael had tweeted.
We've got so dependant on our mobiles, haven't we? Well, I know I had. My mobile is the first thing I check in the morning, the last thing at night, and all the other times in between. It's my watch, my alarm, my camera, my communication, my window to the outside world.
Then I stared at my blank and cracked screen and thought to myself, will the sky fall to earth because I can't use my mobile? Will I be able to cope a few days without an iPhone?
The answer is, of course I can!
"But what if there's an emergency?" said Mark, as he was leaving for work the morning of its departure to mobile heaven. I had booked the day off, so I was holding Tommy as he was screaming in excitement at an orange triangle on his walker.
"I'm sure there won't be," I said very loudly above Tommy's screams. "And it's not as if we live in the middle of nowhere, I can always knock next door and use their telephone. Or, you can email me on the lap top?" I was feeling very clever, remembering the lap top, and registering that I could still check the Internet.
But do you know what? I didn't need to check Twitter, or Facebook, or Instagram, or the Internet in general. I spent a day not constantly monitoring my mobile and texting useful\useless updates. And it was rather nice.
Okay, I had to announce on Facebook, via my lap top, that my mobile was no longer. I didn't want people thinking they were texting me and I was ignoring them. The World Wide Web is handy for that sort of thing, nearly every person I know has a Facebook account, so it was easy to let people know my dilemma.
In the past I've lost many a mobile phone, in an ice bucket/aeroplane/taxi/pub, therefore experience of loosing friends and families telephone numbers has led to recording numbers in my black address book. Arr, gone are the days of scrambling around, trying to collect numbers and inform everyone of my careless circumstances.
And luckily I'm insured. I've learnt my lesson regarding insurance, after the time I smashed my phone at an awards evening and a feeling of overwhelming despair ruined the night when I remembered I'd forgotten to renew my insurance policy.
So you can understand why dear readers, after a slight panic, I was perfectly fine living a mobileless life.
It's now been five days and still the sky from my world hasn't caved in. Fortunately I haven't had to drive Tommy anywhere without communication, I think that's the only time I would have felt uneasy. And Mark kindly lent me his mobile when I worked from home, and I had to divert all office calls to another available number.
So iPhone 5, you may have decided your work here was done and your life with me was over, but I have managed to survive without you.
Maybe next week my new handset will arrive, but hey, it's cool, I've proved I can live a few days without a mobile.
Just as long as I haven't missed a tweet from George Michael. One day I'm convinced he will reply to one of my tweets from one of his tweets. And if that happens, well you can be sure I'll tell you all about it.