Thursday, 16 May 2013

The big hand of fate

Back in those dark and sinister days, when our new home fell through, I lost track of the amount of times I was quoted, “It wasn’t meant to be, and things have a funny way of working out for the best.”
I can’t really blame individuals for telling me so. I too have been guilty of using this expression. For I have always been a solid believer in fate, and reasons why such things occur.
However, when such things affect you, when you really wanted them, and you can’t think of a reason why such things not happening is an adequate outcome, sometimes it’s tricky to accept, smile, and agree.
Of course I was always gracious when these words of wisdom were repeated to me. It wasn’t my friends/relations fault my future life had been jeopardised. Yet inside I was seething and trying to make sense of it all.
How could a beautiful grade 2 listed building, a home we could actually afford and would allow us to finally step onto the property ladder, in a prime location, in stunning grounds, and the all important second bedroom, be taken away from us? For a good reason! How could a better alternative be waiting around the corner? I could not fathom it out.
And not only had we lost this future home, we had to pack and leave our current premises, as we’d provided a notice period during a time we felt all was secure with our second home.
It wouldn’t have been such a bitter pill to swallow if we could have stayed in the polka dot home, for we were happy there. Until this new home turned our heads and lives upside down and inside out.
And let’s not forget the large amount of money we lost with fees and surveys, cash which would not be repaid. Some laws stink of unfairness.
Plus there was the significant matter of discovering I was pregnant, and feeling I was already failing my parental responsibilities by not supplying a suitable home for our future child.
At present, it’s a tough mortgage world in the UK. High deposits are required, credit scores must be excellent, salaries should be above satisfactory. The lender’s fingers have been burnt in the past and first time buyers are unfortunately penalised for other's greed and mistakes.
We tried to find other homes, but with our deposit and income, and time frame, it seemed everything was against us. We tried to remain positive, our geography search was stretched wider, and we turned to other lenders for help.
But for all our hard work and forward thinking, we were in a worse situation than before. We lost crucial points with credit searches and circumstances, and our finances had taken a battering.
Still people told me, “It wasn’t meant to be, and things have a funny way of working out for the best.” And I smiled politely through all the disappointment.
Finally, husband and I held long discussions with each other and our parents regarding our future. We were grateful my father in-law had provided a roof over our heads, but we needed our own space and independence. I worried how long it would take to find a replacement home, and not having our own place for baby T was becoming a huge concern.
So, we decided not to put ourselves through any further unnecessary stress. We reached the conclusion we would return to renting, save for a larger deposit, knock up valuable credit points, and live in a house and area we loved, but couldn’t afford to buy (yet).
This was definitely the sensible choice for us, because we found our little cottage in our little village. With its own front door, back door, and charming garden.
Let me explain that the home which wasn’t meant to be was a shared building and communal grounds, something I had dismissed before as not really being an issue. Although it was a pretty building and the grounds were glorious, I now realise to open our own front door, step into the character cottage, and open our own back door to a private well maintained garden, is even more special. It’s an absolute delight.
And we certainly have extra space for our money. A larger lounge, a bigger kitchen, more space in the bathroom, and we even have a stair case, a landing, a loft, a shed, and our own driveway. How lucky do we feel.
We will buy one day, but in the mean time we love our cottage. Sometimes you can get so wrapped up in planning your future and thinking about your future, that you forget to think about and appreciate now.
Now, finally, I can agree, “It wasn’t meant to be, and things have a funny way of working out for the best.”


Amel said...

LOVE this post. Indeed I also don't like hearing those words when I'm all tangled up like a pretzel. I'd prefer people to shut up and then let me say those words when I'm ready to say them HA HA HA HA HA HA...Stubborn much? LOL!!!! Anyway, I'm glad things work out for the best for you, even if some of them weren't exactly what you wanted, but yes, sometimes we get better things instead (but we can only know that in hindsight). Sometimes we don't get better things, but we learn to focus on the things we have instead of the things we don't have, and that's also good enough. :-D

The World According To Me said...

Wise words Amel - Sometimes we don't get better things, but we learn to focus on the things we have instead of the things we don't have, and that's also good enough. :-D

What Happened 2 Vince? (Part 2) said...

adversity like that is hard to accept. & it must be hard to lose the hard earn money that you earn & have it go like that when you could spend it somewhere else. I'm wishing you the best in your cottage & your future home !

The World According To Me said...

Thanks Vince. Yes adversity like that can be hard to accept. Expect more posts from our cottage!