Sunday, 18 March 2012

Me, myself and I

You may be surprised to hear my next announcement.
It may not be earth shattering or spine tingling, and it may not blow you away and stop you dead in your tracks, but it could be something you are blissfully unaware of.
Allow me to explain.
Yes I am blessed with a close family, a loving boyfriend, and a wide circle of interesting and special friends. And yes I do live a fairly full and active life and enjoy the company of the people born into and introduced to my life.
But sometimes I love to be alone.
Surprised? Perhaps a teeny element of astonishment is now showing on your inquisitive faces?
I am, dear readers, perfectly happy and content in my own company. I would even go as far as to say, often I crave a little bit of me time.
Is that such a socially unacceptable thing to admit? No, I'd like to think not. Personally I feel slightly uncomfortable when people mention they don’t like their own company.
Okay, let’s face facts here, loneliness and being alone are two very different agendas. No one wants to feel lonely. As human beings we are taught and encouraged to form relationships and bonds, it’s a natural progression. Friendships and partnerships are rewarding. I realise this as much as the next person. It’s great to be surrounded by people we love and who thankfully love us in return.
I for one think a fairly perfect night is to invite family or friends for dinner. To entertain and host and enquire as to what my guests have been up to. To eat and drink and laugh and connect.
I also adore evenings with boyfriend. Whether we wander to a local restaurant to sample whatever cuisine takes our fancy, or we stay in our polka dot home, wrapped in the duvet on the sofa to watch a film, munching our way through an appetising take away.
Both propositions are very satisfying.
But I am equally happy to amuse myself in my own company. I think it’s healthy for the soul.
I do not fret and stress when I am faced with the flat to myself because boyfriend is playing or watching football. I am not particularly bothered if I come home on a Saturday night, after spending a pleasant day with my parents, and boyfriend texts to inform me he’s still at his football club.
Here is a classic example of not fretting and stressing about such a situation. Boyfriend recently arranged to see his friends on a Friday night. I was glad that I did not immediately jump up and down and demand he cancels or promises not to be late. I did not impulsively call a friend to assure I was not spending a Friday night alone. I was fine with the idea of arriving home after a hard day/week in the office, relaxing in a bubble bath with a face pack, followed by settling in front of the television to absorb a good drama. Or perhaps read the latest instalment in my thoroughly thought provoking book, or continue with the wedding preparations. I could even make birthday cards or turn my focus to my photography course work. And what a good excuse to blog! My list was endless!
I am never bored. This probably aides any thoughts of being by myself. And I think it also helps that I am not often on my own, so it’s a welcome change when circumstances alter.
Incidentally, the day before the Friday night mentioned above, a friendly colleague suggested watching The Muppet's at the cinema near the office. I must confess my first thought was, bugger that was supposed to be my big night in with myself, chilling and indulging in a little bit of me time. But I decided declining would be considered rude and ungracious.
Besides, it was an early screening so I was safe in the knowledge that after viewing and nachos I would be home by half past eight.
There would be plenty of time to loose myself in a quiet flat with nothing but the company of yours truly,
So yes, you may be surprised to hear I sometimes embrace solidarity.
And I can’t help pondering this - if you don’t like your own company, well that’s pretty tough, isn't it? It’s not as if you can argue with yourself (schizophrenic's not included!), walk out on yourself, or even divorce yourself. Can you?
You're kind of stuck with yourself. So it's nice to get along, with your own private universe, distractions and activities a plenty. And to not worry about such matters as your own personal space, wouldn’t you agree?


Amel said...

I agree with you totally, Nikki. I think it's healthy to enjoy your own company. :-D VERY healthy indeed. However, I also enjoy the time when we're both at home doing our own thing in front of our own computers, but it's so fun to be able to tease each other every now and then...or kiss/hug each other. It's really comforting for me. :-)

pilgrimchick said...

I completely agree with you. I think it is really important to enjoy your own company. In my case, the relationship with my current boyfriend wouldn't work if I couldn't spend time comfortably on my own--he's a merchant marine and often away for months at a time. I can save my "alone time" projects for when he isn't home, and, because I enjoyed my alone time, when he comes home I have a great time spending time with him.

The World According To Me said...

Hi Amel

Yep, that's nice too, both doing you're own thing but still there for the odd comment/cuddle etc!

The World According To Me said...

Hi Pilgrimchick

So enjoying your own company definitely works for you. And I bet it's great when he's back and therefore you don't mind placing your 'alone time' on hold.