I’ve never really been one to plan my life. Life, until now, has just kind of happened to me.
I’m brilliant at making plans to see friends, to experience old and new bars and restaurants, to visit places of interest where I can wrap myself in history and record the adventure on my SLR screen.
But as for all the other bits, the important bits you could say, I’ve been a firm believer of living in the moment and I've not thought or planned too far ahead.
I’ve always known there were countries I wanted to visit, and I’m lucky enough to have ventured to my wish list – Mauritius, Maldives, Singapore, Las Vegas, California, San Fransisco, Thailand. My curiosity was killed (no I’m not a cat, merely an expression) and I’ve had some amazing times.
I’ve always known I’ve wanted to work hard and do well in the publishing industry. Again I’ve been fortunate enough to have been employed by some very powerful and interesting companies.
And I’ve always known I’ve wanted to find true love and start a family of my own one day.
Other than that, well, ahem, I’ve just enjoyed myself and tried not to stress too much about life and its outcomes.
Then suddenly I’m 36. (Nearly 37.)
How the heck did that occur?
What happened to my teens, twenties and my early thirties?
Oh hang on, it’s all coming back to me, I was too busy having fun!
Not a bad thing, I know, there are worse things you could be doing with your life.
But where has it got me? A bunch of hilarious memories, a stack of amusing photographs, and a few outrageous stories to tell the grandchildren. That’s where it’s got me. Is that enough? For the first time in my life, I’m worrying. I’m conscious of my age and my place in society.
It's time to plan ahead!
It's time to make plans for the future!
It's time to become ruler of my own destiny!
It’s rather alien to me but I’m rather warming to the idea.
Lovely boyfriend and I are going to live together. I’ve issued my notice to my flat mate. Boyfriend and I have registered with estate agents and together we are stepping onto the property ladder. Farewell renting, it was nice for a while, but I am a grown up now and I am embracing this owning your own property lark. Okay I admit, I'm a tiny bit scared about this commitment thing. Not with lovely boyfriend, he doesn’t scare me at all, far from it, he makes me feel the happiest girl alive and I have no doubts about our relationship and our future. It’s the mortgage I find a tad frightening. But hey, welcome to the real world Nikki. It’s only a small scary percentage, the rest of me can’t wait to own my own home.
So we are planning the area we want to live in, the size house we would be comfortable with, and the amount we can afford to spend on our home. I am also writing lists of items we will need for our home and each month purchases are made.
I don’t think it would surprise you to learn (pink vintage) wine glasses were my first order. I hope my clumsy side does not smash them before we move, they were delicately expensive. I now have boxes in my present loft conversion filled with black and white coffee cups and tea cups, chunky glass pasta jars and retro storage tins. I’ve even bought a vacuum cleaner (it’s pink too, I am so girly sometimes) and a silver gravy boat. And next pay day more items from our list will be crossed off.
We’re also planning our future together. As a couple. A sapphire engagement ring has been discussed, anniversary nights have been planned, a wedding venue has been admired (the castle was not cost effective, you have to be practical too), and children’s names have been chosen.
Websites have been researched and I've enrolled in a course at The Photography Institute, to earn a diploma and hopefully branch out into a hobby turned career, one I could possibly manage around a family.
Phew, who would have predicted that I could make so many plans!
I am making things happen.
I feel like a fully fledged adult.
I know where I’m going and who it’s with.
There’s so much to think about and time spans to be aware of.
But I am relishing in it.
The seemingly impossible has become magnificently possible.
And maybe I'm more prone to planning than I realised?