I was travelling on the train, reading my newspaper, when I nearly choked on my cereal bar.
The words:'The finest exposition of scientific football ever witnessed here’ were the culprits who caused this choking sensation.
I was confused. Was I still dreaming? Perhaps I was in the midst of a deep sleep underneath my purple and cream duvet?
But I was sure I’d begrudgingly left my bed this morning and made my way to work.
No, I was positive I was awake.
The unfortunate choking moment and the gentle snores from the man to my left were only too apparent. Perhaps the man to my left was dreaming, but I was very much in the real world, sitting on the train and reading my newspaper.
So why was I so dumbfounded to read these words? Why had they caused such a dramatic reaction?
Because they were referring to the England football team!
Yes dear readers, it’s the 2010 World Cup. Whether you are a football fan or not, there is no escape from the commentary, the headlines, and the complaints about the noise level created from the Vuvuzelas.
England are two games down, with everything to play for in their third.
And it’s with a heavy heart I have to admit the English football team are playing disappointingly rubbish.
Oh how the fans have turned on them! After their shockingly weak game last Friday, I regret to inform you, the team were booed off the pitch. Oh how the fans take it all very seriously! And some might say, rightly so. It costs a lot of money for an English fan to fly to and stay in South Africa. No doubt lots of savings and sacrifices have been made. Which is why tempers are up and morale is down. The fans can’t understand how talented men, earning enormous amounts of money and living lifestyles which most people could not imagine in a million years, with their country backing them and rooting for them, could play with such lack of interest.
Therefore the words I read in my newspaper, and I quote: 'The finest exposition of scientific football ever witnessed here’ hit a very raw nerve. Not to mention the pieces of nuts and raisins which spluttered out of my mouth and hit the seat in front of me.
I was feeling slightly embarrassed about my cereal bar spillage. And very confused about the words I had read.
Until reality suddenly dawned on me.
The words were now making perfect sense.
The newspaper article was written regarding the 1910 English football team. Apparently they won every game they played and notched up 143 goals in just 23 games.
Wow, that is something to be proud of. Wayne Rooney and John Terry take note! Maybe all that bling and the celebrity lifestyle are now distractions from the game? I won’t pretend to know everything about football, but it would be nice to see a team effort, with goals being scored, and to feel England’s spirits rise, like Phoenix from the ashes, or a rainbow after a thunder storm.
Or rather like I imagine it felt in 1910.
Come on England!