Tuesday, 23 February 2010

Memories. Old and new.

Memories. We create them, we reminisce about them, sometimes we visit them and they feel our hearts with joy.
Other times, the not so good memories, we’d rather not think about, we are glad they are in the past and we look forward to making new ones.
Memories. They can be in our heads or all around us.
My home is full of memories. I laugh at the happy ones, I dismiss the not so happy ones and I appreciate I'm in a better place. My home is a better place.
The avid reader will know my home is an old home, a house I lived in once before. I lived here with my partner and a whole list of others. The list of others is long and in parts unusual. Oh this house has witnessed some crazy people and some crazy times. It’s a calmer house now. And I like it that way.
Would you like to join me on a little tour? A little tour through memory lane. With some new memories thrown in for good measure.

This is the fireplace in my loft conversion. The fireplace which my ex nearly sold a million times. Practically every time a visitor came to the house he tried to sell it to them. As you can see, it was never sold. It now stands erect for all to see.
The picture above the fireplace, one of the few wedding presents I kept, from my cousin, I brought back to my parents house when I moved out. It's been on quite an emotional journey with me. And I honestly never thought for one moment I would ever bring it back to its original place.
The giraffes are the most recent purchase, a birthday present from my parents, a new addition to my new/old home. When I lived at my parents house, for the second time, I used to look enviously at items for the home whilst out shopping or flicking through catalogues, and wished I had a home of my own again. So I was pretty excited when I took the giraffes out of their boxes, and I knew where they would stand perfectly in a home to call my own again.

This is the desk where I make my cards and I begin my blogging on my lap top. I thought I should include my place of blogging! (Although it has been known to begin under the duvet on cold and grey days.)
Can you see the black and white boxes? I brought them years ago from Ikea, because I liked the look of them. Then I wasn’t sure what to do with them, so I piled the boxes in the back of a cupboard. When I moved back I rediscovered the boxes and I knew exactly what to do with them. They now contain my card making bits and pieces.
The red lamp is from my parents house, it sat by the side of my (single, often lonely) bed. I must confess that lamp has seen me shed a few tears. I like to think it’s happy to see a happier me in happier times.

The bottles made me smile when I saw them again. I used to have a thing about bottles. Still have I suppose. They used to sit on my dressing table at my parents house, many moons ago. Bottles I have collected over the years from craft fairs and boot sales, bottles I have been brought as presents. I like my bottles.

This picture was brought back from a holiday in Greece with my ex. It was a cheap purchase from a market stall on a very hot day. My ex was half Greek so he refused to holiday anywhere other than a Greek island. But as you know there are many Greek islands and I’ve holidayed on some beautiful ones, so I didn’t really mind.
I remember feeling quite grown up that I was buying an item for a bathroom. The first bathroom that was mine and not my parents.
Sometimes I lay in the bath staring at the dolphins. Dolphins I thought I would never see again, when I left the house by the pylon one very difficult Saturday afternoon.

The brown sofas have certainly seen a thing or two. They have seen many parties, many people happy and sad, they've also experienced numerous puppies crawl around (on a blanket of course, leather and puppies do not mix) from a Stafford Bull Terriers two litters. And they've witnessed many arguments when we brought them home in a white van and carried them up a flight of stairs.
They now have to put up with my flat mate and I sitting on them (with a large glass of wine) and setting the world to right after a stressful day in the office, or laughing about our Friday night shenanigans.
If brown sofas could speak, the stories and secrets they could tell.

And the dining room, which I have just realised still has a mini Christmas tree on the dining table from the last, very merry, Christmas. Erm, isn’t that meant to be bad luck?
The dining room used to be a green and yellow bedroom. It’s come a long way. The dining table isn’t the original one, it’s my flat mates. I sold the original to a gay couple, during hard times. I was glad to see the back of it, and make some much needed cash.

And finally the fridge magnets. Now that’s what you call memories! A conference in Barcelona, that’s the black one, the front has fallen off, it’s supposed to be a yellow flip flop featuring a map of Barcelona, I must super glue it back on one of these days. A conference in Singapore, where I'd like to admit I did not work very hard, most of the time I was too busy sight seeing. There’s a pint glass from my best friends 30th birthday celebration in Prague, a surfboard from a holiday in the Maldives, a pair of sunglasses from a wedding in Cyprus, and a fish from a girlie holiday in Ibiza. And a wine bottle which boasts I like to cook with wine, sometimes I even put it in the food.

Okay, that’s the end of my little tour. I’m looking forward to buying new things for my home and collecting new memories.
And talking of new memories, a comment left from a blogging friend may have come true! I have finished my subscription for Match Affinity. I decided (personally speaking) it was an unnatural environment. I wasn’t comfortable with it and I wanted to stop fixating on meeting someone and enjoy fun nights out with my friends instead. Then when I least expected it, when I wasn’t looking for it, or him, I met someone.
But I will have to tell you all about that another time.

Tuesday, 2 February 2010

Blue January

Dear January, what a raw deal you have been given. Let’s face brutal facts shall we, any month that has to follow December has an awful lot to live up to.
December, the official Christmas month. A month of celebrating, spending time with ones family and friends, giving and receiving presents, indulging in Christmas food and spirits, and a welcome break from the classroom or office.
January, often a bitterly cold month. In the UK it has been recorded as the coldest month in over thirty years. January, a full thirty one days to feel flat from the season of good will, from over eating and over spending. A time where one could feel rather let down for not achieving those over ambitious new years resolutions.
January, what high expectations you come with. Too high in my humble experience. Every year I make the same old mistakes - discussing my new weight and fitness motivation, eagerly laid plans to become super organised and spending more time with my hobbies, and threatening everyone, myself included, with my new lease for life.
Is it any surprise, dare I say it, that January is often associated with the January blues. The blues which often make one feel disappointed and disillusioned that life has not changed one tiny bit.
Am I being too harsh? Perhaps the first month of the new year has brought you more success than it has for me? Maybe I shouldn’t really blame January. Perhaps I should admit to being the one to blame for failing my promises and desires.
For example:
Have I lost any weight?
Have I turned into a fitness freak?
Have I captured amazing and astonishing pictures on my Canon camera?
Have I found the love of my life through Match Affinity?
Again a big, fat, ugly, no.
But it’s been so cold! On many days I have not been able to leave the house due to the heavy snow fall and my car refusing to start, making it virtually impossible to enjoy walks with my camera or car journeys to the gym.
As for on line dating, it has hindered, not helped, my nervousness and anxiousness with dating and finding a nice, reliable, companion and lover.
And I have been so broke! There have been zero fun packed days or evenings out for me. This has not helped my sanity and my (too high?) expectations.
Excuses, excuses, you may well be saying.
Well, all I can say is, blue January has left us for another twelve months.
It’s onwards and upwards with February! This month I promise to try harder. I have been paid, the snow has melted, and my car is in full working order once again.
Oh and I have booked a holiday to Thailand! Now that’s something to shout about and look forward to! March is the merry month I am vacating to this destination. I am so excited, and quite frankly I can’t wait. Thailand has been at the top of my ‘places I must visit’ list for a long time. Therefore I am over the moon that this place has been (nearly) crossed off my list and I shall be visiting it in a matter of weeks.
But first, I must tackle February. I have a date looming with Jonnygiant from Match Affinity (apparently he’s not really a giant, or a wolf, embarrassingly I read one of his sentences wrong regarding wanting to have a wolf/be a wolf). I've given up on The Other One from my other post - see The rule book of life. And I’m off to the gym tomorrow.
Let’s see if I can turn February into a sparkling, happier, friendlier, slimmer, brighter shade of yellow.
So long, blue January. I hate to be personal and rude, but I’m really glad you’ve gone.