Friday, 15 January 2010

The rule book of life

Does anyone have a spare rule book I could borrow please?
I'm imagining it as a black leather bound, slightly tatty but much loved (and needed!) book of, and for, this crazy little thing called life.
I promise to look after it. I will read it cover to cover. I will absorb the words carefully. I will treasure the words. I will make note of the words. I will take drastic action and act in the appropriate manner to respect these words.
Okay, maybe this book does not exist. But imagine if it did? It could be the answer to all my prayers. It would be the precious, vital, piece of information that I require.
Especially now.
And wouldn't you be tempted to read it too?
First date from my on-line dating adventure has been accomplished. Mission one over and out!
Did it go well? I think it did.
We met outside McDonalds (not the most romantic location but that is where it all began). Luckily I have seen 85 pictures of the man in question. We are Facebook friends and Match Affinity friends. So therefore I recognised him instantly. I will honestly admit at this point, I have always been attracted to the picture behind the messages. Although I do realise dear readers, looks are superficial. However, there has to be a connection. Wouldn't you agree?
We walked to a near by wine bar. We instantly 'clicked' and conversation flowed and laughter was heard.
So far so good.
We entered the wine bar, ordered a bottle of Pinot Grigio, and seated ourselves in a booth with soft lighting.
The perfect atmosphere for a first date.
The night flew by at a pleasant and comfortable rate. Spookily, or am I reading too much into this, we shared a great deal in common. Similar experiences, likes and dislikes, and outlook on life. I couldn't help smiling into my wine glass and his friendly (hazel colour? I really should remember) eyes.
We decided to eat as the wine was pouring a little too easily.
Pizza Express was our next location. We both ordered an americano and garlic bread. We had succumbed to the fact we would both stink (of garlic) and we didn't care.
We polished off our pizzas and garlic bread and stopped for a beer at pub close at hand. Before we had to depart and board our separate trains home.
"I'll have to come to your town next weekend to see you again," he said with a smile on his face.
Oh sweet music to my ears. He wants to see me again! Or was it the wine and beer talking?
He texted me on his journey home. He mentioned seeing me again. We both agreed and texted it was great/very nice to meet at last.
That night I snuggled under my purple and cream duvet with a huge grin on my face, and I confess (but only to you, don't tell him I said this) with my mind racing ahead of romantic and fun future liaisons.
Let's stop here shall we.
Now it's time to face reality. Now it's time for the paranoia and self doubts to begin.
We have been in touch since. He texted me 'Happy New Year!x' at fifteen minutes past midnight on new years day.
We have shared texts and instant messages on Facebook.
I haven't seen him since.
The weather has been appalling in the UK. As usual we are victims of severe weather conditions and lack of government funding. The roads turned into treacherous ice-rinks. The public transport system almost came to a disruptive and sudden halt. We are a nation complaining and mocking our abilities to cope when snow appears.
He also has an 8 year old daughter from a previous relationship. A little girl who has to come first. I can understand that. I would never expect or want him to take his parental responsibilities anything but seriously.
I am supposed to be seeing him 'soon'.
I have stared at my mobile telephone, willing him to contact me. To arrange an actual second date.
I have bored friends and colleagues rigid by enquiring how often I should contact him, without appearing too keen but to leave the impression I am interested and interesting. Is he seeing other girls? Has he been on his own for too long and grown accustomed to the single life? Is he letting me down gently? Is he true to his word?
How the heck should I know!
Should I contact other guys and not pin so many hopes on one man? There has been other interests through Match Affinity, other apparently single men looking for love and companionship.
Maybe I should trust my instincts, give him the benefit of my self doubt, keep myself busy and just see where, if anywhere at all, this will lead too?
Oh I'm rubbish at dating. I think I should stick to what I know best. Not expecting too much and carrying on regardless, seeing my friends and throwing myself into my work commitments.
Where's that rule book when I need it!