I have done something which could potentially be the best thing I have ever done. On the other hand, it could disastrously be the worst thing I have ever done.
One thing I am sure of, it’s something I thought I would never do. If I recall my reaction to this suggestion last year, I was adamant I would never do such a thing. “It’s just not me,” I remember saying. But, as I’m sure you have heard before, it’s a girl’s prerogative to change her mind!
So I have changed my mind. I am now trying to convince myself, nothing ventured it nothing gained. Therefore, I am venturing into the unknown!
I can honestly say this year for me has been the year of unexpected changes. Including my latest change of heart.
I lost my job.
I found a new job.
I cleared my debts thanks to loosing my job.
I have learnt new skills.
I have made new friends.
I have moved into my old home.
I have embraced independent life again.
And finally...I have joined the world of on-line dating.
Why have I done this? Why have I decided to put myself through such an ordeal? Because I have reached the point in my life where I need to make things happen, rather than sitting back and waiting for them to happen. This includes finding my Mr Right.
I am the grand old age of 36 and I am still single. I have looked around and realised my friends are happily married and raising families and looking forward to their futures. And I am buying a microwave meal for one on Christmas Eve.
I have also reached the point in my life where it’s becoming increasingly harder to find Mr Right. My social life involves meals at friends houses, or nights out with friends where I wouldn’t dare approach a man for fear of them having a girlfriend or wife at home, or even worse, a girlfriend or wife sitting next to them. So where do you find single men? Single men looking for lurve? On-line dating.
It’s a strange environment. Even stranger for someone like me who likes familiarity. I’m not one for falling in love at the drop of a hat, or exposing my inner self to strangers - although strangely I do so on my blog!
But sometimes you have to look at the bigger picture. It would be nice to share my life with someone. To not be the only single person at the party, like my office Christmas party where I was mortified to find I was the only person who did not bring a partner. (The symapthy waves were almost too much to bare.) It would be nice to have someone to cuddle up to on these dark and cold winter evenings. Someone to care for and someone to care for me.
My biggest fear is becoming even more cynical in matters of the heart. To feel even more disillusioned by the men I meet. Yet I have taken this opportunity to find Him. The one I have been searching for.
I have my first date tomorrow night with someone I have been messaging for a little while. To say I am nervous would be an understatement. I’m wondering how I will sleep tonight. I’m worrying I’m too fat, too unattractive, too different for what He is looking for. But I’m doing it.
Wish me luck!
I’ll let you know the outcome.