Tuesday, 29 December 2009

And so the search begins...

I have done something which could potentially be the best thing I have ever done. On the other hand, it could disastrously be the worst thing I have ever done.
One thing I am sure of, it’s something I thought I would never do. If I recall my reaction to this suggestion last year, I was adamant I would never do such a thing. “It’s just not me,” I remember saying. But, as I’m sure you have heard before, it’s a girl’s prerogative to change her mind!
So I have changed my mind. I am now trying to convince myself, nothing ventured it nothing gained. Therefore, I am venturing into the unknown!
I can honestly say this year for me has been the year of unexpected changes. Including my latest change of heart.
I lost my job.
I found a new job.
I cleared my debts thanks to loosing my job.
I have learnt new skills.
I have made new friends.
I have moved into my old home.
I have embraced independent life again.
And finally...I have joined the world of on-line dating.
Why have I done this? Why have I decided to put myself through such an ordeal? Because I have reached the point in my life where I need to make things happen, rather than sitting back and waiting for them to happen. This includes finding my Mr Right.
I am the grand old age of 36 and I am still single. I have looked around and realised my friends are happily married and raising families and looking forward to their futures. And I am buying a microwave meal for one on Christmas Eve.
I have also reached the point in my life where it’s becoming increasingly harder to find Mr Right. My social life involves meals at friends houses, or nights out with friends where I wouldn’t dare approach a man for fear of them having a girlfriend or wife at home, or even worse, a girlfriend or wife sitting next to them. So where do you find single men? Single men looking for lurve? On-line dating.
It’s a strange environment. Even stranger for someone like me who likes familiarity. I’m not one for falling in love at the drop of a hat, or exposing my inner self to strangers - although strangely I do so on my blog!
But sometimes you have to look at the bigger picture. It would be nice to share my life with someone. To not be the only single person at the party, like my office Christmas party where I was mortified to find I was the only person who did not bring a partner. (The symapthy waves were almost too much to bare.) It would be nice to have someone to cuddle up to on these dark and cold winter evenings. Someone to care for and someone to care for me.
My biggest fear is becoming even more cynical in matters of the heart. To feel even more disillusioned by the men I meet. Yet I have taken this opportunity to find Him. The one I have been searching for.
I have my first date tomorrow night with someone I have been messaging for a little while. To say I am nervous would be an understatement. I’m wondering how I will sleep tonight. I’m worrying I’m too fat, too unattractive, too different for what He is looking for. But I’m doing it.
Wish me luck!
I’ll let you know the outcome.

Friday, 11 December 2009

The morning my hair froze

“If you could gain extra time in your life, what would you do with it?” the nice smiley lady at the front of the room asked me.
“Sleep more,” was my immediate answer. My answer which was met with sniggers and raised eyebrows.
Oh, I thought to myself, feeling my cheeks flush a shade of red. Should I have replied with something which had more depth and character? Maybe the answer should have been saving the planet, or helping those less fortunate than myself by raising money climbing mountains and handing them all my worldly possessions?
I was merely being honest. I do need to sleep more. Sleep to me is a blessing. A novelty. A luxury.
We all need sleep, of course I am aware of this. Without sleep one would go insane. But at this present moment in time, I need more sleep. 8 hours would be nice. 8 hours would be heaven!
I have always been the type of person who needs sleep more than the average person. Left to my own devices, I could sleep, and sleep, and then sleep again. That’s once I’ve cleared my mind of all those niggling worries and doubts and stresses and I can actually fall asleep.
I love my (newish, it’s been nine months now) job, but I drink far too much caffeine as a consequence. My alarm bleeps far too early, the journey is long and tiring. But hey it’s a job, it’s a good job and I’m grateful to be employed again after my redundancy episode.
And I can sleep on the trains. I often doze on the trains, my head dangling unattractively in my book or my bag. The other day I awoke with my head in a bouquet of flowers, a beautiful bunch of flowers which my friend generously and kindly sent to my office. That was a little embarrassing, not to mention bewildering, when I awoke staring at sunflower petals.
It was a time and work management course where this gaining time question was raised, and made me ponder over my sleeping pattern. But how do you gain extra time to sleep more? My mind wondered for the remainder of the course.
Right on cue, the very next day my alarm rudely and loudly interrupted my sleep. I slammed the off button on my unpopular alarm clock and promptly fell back to sleep. I stirred again 45 minutes later (unfortunately there is no snooze button on my alarm clock and I lost another mobile phone with the capability to snooze, in my gold bag in a black taxi cab) and I felt sheer panic. I realised I had 15 minutes to wash myself and my hair, feed my stomach, dress myself, and catch my bus to the train station. Higher forces must have been working with me that morning, as somehow I managed it.
But I left my house with wet hair and the atmosphere was so chilly that my hair actually froze. I swear that’s what happened. Have you ever heard of such a thing? It turned into a stiff, uncomfortable layer. Life is just one big adventure in the mornings.
But I was right. My answer to the nice smiley lady was honest and heartfelt. I do need to sleep more.
This was made abundantly clear, it was proved a fact of my life, on the morning my hair froze.

Thursday, 10 December 2009

The night I met Santa Claus

It was the indoor shoot at my photography club.

Anyone would think it's Christmas soon.

Festive flower arrangements.

And a very special guest.

Anyone would think he was famous.

Apologies for the delay dear readers, I hope you're all well and I'll pop over and see you soon.
Coming next, the morning my hair froze. It may explain the delay.