Sunday, 16 August 2009

Has anyone seen my ankles?

I am not a skinny person by any stretch of the wildest imagination. I was bordering on skinny way back in my youth, when I was blessed with a body that could eat food at an alarming rate but not once add any extra pounds to my slender physique.
“You’ll explode one day if you keep eating like that,” I was warned. I didn’t explode, but I did gradually gain weight. Everywhere. Apart from my ankles and my wrists. My ankles and wrists have remained small.
These days I like to call myself curvaceous and pretend that I’m not really bothered about attaining a supermodel figure. Besides, I enjoy eating too much to deprive myself of one of life's pleasures. I’m not saying I’m unhealthy, I regularly eat vegetables and fruit and a balanced diet, but I do eat rather large portions and I refuse to stop eating cheese and chocolate and other such delicacies. So as a result of good food and a slower metabolism, I am not a skinny person, apart from those ankles and wrists.
However, last week was a completely different story. Last week it was impossible to see where my ankles stopped and my legs began. Last week my feet resembled the feet of a morbidly obese elephant. The reason? Pesky pond life at my photography club.
There we were, grey skies above, not ideal photography weather but that didn’t stop us from heading to the local pond searching for the perfect picture. There were ducks and swans and pretty pink flowers. And teenagers on bikes looking at us as if we’d escaped from the local zoo.
I was wearing black leggings underneath my black dress with my brown shoes. Had I realised we would be outside I would have dressed appropriately. I would have worn jeans and socks and covered those (skinny) ankles.
I crouched down to capture the swan and his elegant white neck. There were reeds and pond like things growing by the waters edge. And a rusty coke can added to the scene. Gnats circulated the air above me, and was it my imagination but could I feel the pesky pond life feeding on my ankles and making me itch?
It was not my imagination. The next day my ankles disappeared. My feet and ankles ballooned to very unattractive and startling sizes. My feet were covered in itchy lumps. And the next day after that, the bruises errupted. I looked a sight. It was also very uncomfortable.
I hobbled to the chemist, slightly concerned that my feet were pumped full of deadly poison and I may have to be rushed into hospital for life threatening surgery. (You can’t help worrying sometimes, can you?) The lady at the chemist assured me I would live and it was nothing to fret about. I was given cream and tablets and reassured I would be okay.
You’ll be pleased to know that I have nearly recovered from my ordeal. My feet and ankles are nearly back to normal. My ankles are practically back to their old skinny selves, and thankfully we have been reunited once again.
Dear ankles, it’s good to have you back.

Before I was bitten.

Taken whilst being bitten.

After I was bitten.


The Real Mother Hen said...

Ouch, what bite you, you know?!
Beautiful pictures btw, I like them a lot.

Eryl Shields said...

Yikes, how very grim! The photographs are gorgeous.

I met my sister for lunch the other day and we were talking about this very thing: being skinny versus enjoying life, and we both decided that we'd much rather have the odd piece of cake, chocolate, cheese, glass of wine – you name it – than be skinny. Constant deprivation is just too miserable.

Emerson Marks said...

Blokes like something to grab hold of as well. Plus you can't go through life saying no to cake, can you?

Amel's Realm said...

HEY, I also got a bite that made my calf swollen!!! Not too big, but it made me cramped every now and then and I couldn't sleep at night due to the itch.

The chemist also gave me tablets (antihistamine) and cream.

Glad to hear your legs are fine now and you've got your ankles back. YAAAYYY!!!

LOVE the pics...the swan is SO graceful mmm...

bazzie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bazzie said...

I think it was Little Kevin wot dun it!

Nick Phillips said...

I used to be like you, eat and eat and eat and not gain a single pound. Then age came in and ruined everything ... LOL!

Blur Ting said...

Oh deariebut you still managed to sound so funny, it made me laugh. Sorry but glad your ankles are back!

Katherine Mercurio Gotthardt said...

Oh you poor thing! That is really the pits.

The photos were worth it...maybe?

I bet you are not as not thin as you think you are!

Dav DiDi said...

Good to hear that you are good in shape again .. :)

I like the last photo

The World According To Me said...

Hi The Real Mother Hen

I'm still not sure what bit me? I hope it never does again though!

The World According To Me said...

Hey Eryl

Glad you like the pics.

I totally agree, constant deprivation is not much fun at all. Which is why I never do it!

The World According To Me said...

Welcome to FPE, Emerson Marks.

Thanks for visiting and leaving a message.

I can't say no to cake!

The World According To Me said...

Hi Amel

Sorry to hear about your calf. Was it a while ago? I feel your pain!

And yes, dark chocolate is the way forward. (facebook reference!)

The World According To Me said...

Hello Bazzie

I shall be watching him in future! Kevin, leave my ankles alone!

The World According To Me said...

Hi Nick

Why did we have to grow up?!

The World According To Me said...

Hello Blur

I guess there is always a funny side to every story! Well, almost every story. I like to find one anyway!

The World According To Me said...

Hello Katherine

How ya doing?

I bet I'm fatter than you think I am!

The World According To Me said...

Hello Dav

Thanks for your comment. Must come over and see you soon!

The World According To Me said...

Hello Dav

Thanks for your comment. Must come over and see you soon!