I think we have a poltergeist in our house. Either that, or I’m stupider than I look. Hmm, don’t answer that last comment!
I’ve lost my book ‘Stranger on the train’ since photographing it for ‘The book I am now reading.' Therefore it has been necessary to re name the picture ‘The book I am now searching for.’ Let me know if you come across it, won’t you? I’m driving my mother nuts by asking her every day: “Are you sure you haven’t seen it / moved it / sold it at the car boot sale?" And I’m driving myself nuts by looking for it every day in my big white bag / big black bag / under the bed / on my bookshelves. Where the heck is it? I feel I have no alternative but to stop hunting for it, in the hope that it will suddenly re appear. Or that bloomin’ poltergeist returns it to its rightful place. For it’s not the first time that something has gone missing in our house….
Taps. You just have to ask my mother about the taps and she’ll raise her eyebrows and shake her head in disbelief. You see, once my mother bought some taps to be installed in the bathroom. These taps were placed in a drawer, in a cabinet, in the hallway. But when the day of instalment arrived, do you think the taps could be found? They have never been found. How can you loose a pair of taps?!
And that’s not all - one Christmas time, a George Michael CD literally vanished from my bedroom. Just like that. One moment it was on my bed, then dinner was eaten in the kitchen, and upon returning to my bedroom after dinner, it had gone. The exact same thing happened to a mug which was purchased for my father. I placed it in my cupboard to be wrapped as one of his Christmas presents, but when the time came to remove the mug from the cupboard, do you think I could find it? No, I couldn’t find it.
I know I can be absent minded. All you have to say to me is: “Car keys” and I’ll realise that I have no idea where I last placed them. I have spent way too much time looking for my car keys. But that’s different. I’m allowed to misplace my keys.
Sometimes I know I’ve put something in a practical safe place, but then it literally disappears. Like my book! I’m sure I left it by the green armchair. And yet it is not there. I’ve even looked in places I know I haven’t put it (my bags, shelves, under the bed), but it’s not there either!
Surely I am not alone in this mystery? Perhaps you have a friendly poltergeist in your house? If so, could you do me a favour please, and ask him if he’s moved my mothers taps? My mum would be ever so grateful. Thanks!
PS Latest escape ‘Shade’ is by Neil Jordon, who produced such films as ‘The Crying Game’ and ‘Interview with the Vampire.’ If I loose this book I’m really going to question that poltergeists intentions towards me. Or maybe he’s just bored and likes my reading material? Now there’s an interesting thought….
Picture of the day: