So much for the annual company picnic! At this specified moment in time, I am suppose to be sitting in Regents Park, London, lapping up the sunshine and swigging wine and nibbling food. Due to the weather forecast (rain, rain and yet more rain) and the miserable grey fluffy clouds, I am sitting at my desk eating low fat and rather dull soup.
I am not impressed. We even had a flyer emailed to our in boxes.
To occupy my disappointed mind and steer it away from picnicky thoughts, I have been surfing the Internet and investigating current news stories. Here's what I discovered:
Rugby player finds tooth stuck in his head
A rugby player in Australia somehow managed to keep competing for more than four months, without realizing he had an opponent's tooth lodged in his forehead.
Ben Czislowski, a former National Rugby League prop playing for Brisbane team Wynnum, had a clash of heads with opposing forward Matt Austin during an April 1 match against the pleasingly-named Tweed Heads. He had a head wound stitched up afterwards, the Australian Associated Press reported on Tuesday.
But Czislowski later suffered an eye infection and complained of lethargy and shooting pains in his head.
A visit to his doctor last week revealed a tooth still embedded in his head.
'I can laugh about it now, but the doctor told me it could have been serious, with teeth carrying germs,' said Czislowski. He kept the tooth as a souvenir.
'I've got the tooth at home, sitting on the bedside table,' he said.
World's tallest man meets world's shortest man
In the continuing adventures of the world's tallest man, Bao Xishun, our hero shakes hands with He Pingping, who is currently aiming for a place in the Guiness Book of Records as the world's shortest man.
The historic meeting between Bao, who stands 2.36 meters (7.9 feet) tall, and He, who only reaches 73 centimeters (2.4 feet) in height, took place in Baotou, in China's Inner Mongolia Autonomous Region on Friday.
You have to see it to believe it: http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=57120&in_page_id=2
Harry Potter and the Slightly Disturbing Sculpture
A woman by the name of Sarah Pratt has announced news that will thrill lovers of both butter and Harry Potter worldwide - she is to make a sculpture of the teenage wizard from butter.
The character will get his likeness carved in the stuff and be placed in a refrigerated glass case next month at the Iowa State Fair, next to the traditional butter cow.
It is not know how the traditional butter cow feels about this.
'The marketing department at the fair and I were looking for something that would be a timely pop-culture thing to do, and with the new movie and new book coming out, it seemed appropriate,' said Pratt, 30, a special education teacher.
She expects her dairy Potter to look more like the character depicted on the book covers than Daniel Radcliffe, who plays the boy wizard in the movies.
Visitors can expect to see Harry's trademark glasses and scar, but Pratt said she is still deciding on a pose.
The butter cow is a state fair tradition, and it's typically accompanied by a more topical, pop-culture-themed sculpture.
Last year, Pratt crafted a butter Superman, when Iowan Brandon Routh starred in the newest version of the film.
The fifth installment in the Harry Potter film series, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, opened last week, and topped the American box office over the weekend.
For those of you who just have to experience the joys of seeing Harry in butter form, this year's Iowa State Fair runs from August 9 - 19.
Meanwhile, back in the office:
The extremely tall publisher has just announced that one department have already bought their booze and food. They were warned by Human Resources not to do this until an hour before the designated time, in case the picnic was cancelled due to poor weather conditions. But rules are made to be broken and they rushed out first thing this morning. Apparently the food and drink is not to be wasted. Therefore, I am going to casually stroll past the mentioned departments desks and help myself to a sandwich. All is not completely lost.